June 19, 2019
Most dating self-help books, websites, apps, and gurus are sought out by women who are insecure about their beauty, charm, or self-worth.
But now, Connell Barrett, a New York City-based dating coach, is helping the other 50% of the population to finesse the finer points of relationships. Barrett, founder of Dating Transformation, works with male clients for eight-week stretches in what he refers to as a dating boot camp.
“I’m Yoda and I consider my clients young Luke Skywalkers,” Barrett recently told NBC News with a laugh.
Barrett is one of a growing number of dating professionals who are helping singles to spiff up their online dating profiles—taking and selecting new online profile photos, penning new online dating profiles, even initiating online chats and texts with would-be dates—in a bid to help their clients find more and better matches, the network news outlet reports.
“Part of my job as a dating coach is to help my clients create dating profiles that sort of swipe a woman out of her swiping hypnosis and say, ‘Hey, look at that great guy,’” said Barrett.
The dating industry is a $3 billion empire, according to Marketdata, with an estimated 40 million singles looking for love, or at least dates, online. Tinder reports that there are more than a billion swipes recorded on the app every single day.
Barrett said with so much competition, it’s hard for singles looking for real connections to break through the noise and stand out.
“With online dating, the secret sauce is to break her from her swiping pattern, because Tinder and Bumble can become like an endless video game,” Barrett told NBC News.
He gave as an example how he had helped 46-year-old divorced dad Greg Sysak of New Jersey learn to renavigate the dating world and stand out of the crowd. Barrett said he had encouraged Sysak to trash the dimly lit photos and impersonal selfies that populated his old dating profiles, and replace them with brighter photos that showcased his playful personality.
Indeed, NBC reports, the ultimate online dating no-no’s are bathroom selfies and the gym selfies.
Barrett also encouraged Sysak to rework his biography on dating sites, so that it brought out his personality, quirks, and passions.
“Most men post these very generic dating profiles that say all the same things, like ‘I like long walks on the beach’ or they post their résumé,” Barrett told the network. “Crack a joke. Put your favorite Beatles quote in there. Something that expresses who you are.”
Sysak said he’s uncertain what his romantic future holds, but says, now that he’s working with a dating coach, he feels more optimistic. “Dating can be tough so it can be helpful to have someone there for you,” Sysak said. “It’s nice to have a shoulder to lean on. Somebody to say, ‘You know what? We’re gonna go out there. Here’s what we’re gonna do.'”
Research contact: @NBCNews